technique

Getting out of bed this morning this morning at six fifteen was not easy. I also looked at the WOD last night, and that made it a little more difficult.

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I must have had that look when I got there, because a guy in the class before me was leaving, and he told me, "good luck", and "have fun with that one". Fantastic. I failed to get his name, to thank him.

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Morning started off with rolling out my beaten and tortured muscles. This is painful but feels great at the same time. It's that enjoyable pain.

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Snatch balance technique quickly catches me off guard. We practice with PVC pipes to get the technique down before adding weight. Just so Mike can see and correct anything that might injure us. Well...not only did I practice with the PVC pipe, I worked out with the PVC pipe. Are you laughing, judging, or merely shaking your head. Do you even know what I'm talking about? Fine, here you go...snatch balance is a move that starts out with your hands in overhead squat position with the bar at your hips. The move is to drop your body and bring the bar above your head in a full squat position. Then hold. This is the balance part. Hold the bottom for five seconds, then rise. Repeat as many times as possible in five minutes.

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This particular technique had me baffled. I felt so awkward. I'm used to dropping into lunge position, but not dropping into squat position. So each time I do it, I do one of several things. I don't move fast enough, I drop with my feet too far apart, or I do it somewhat correctly but I look at the floor. Sheesh. Good thing I stuck with the pipe on this one. Weight would have killed me, and possibly Mike, who was walking around with his own pipe and tapping my knees, reminding me to keep them out as I was squatting. It was like his wand this morning. Or like a ruler for a teacher. I'd see him walking toward me with it, and every instruction he gave me came screaming back to me.

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Next was hang power snatch. I've never even heard of this move, much less attempted it in my lifetime. You start with the bar in the same position as with the snatch balance. Basically, the technique is simple when described. You dip, shrug, lift, and press. Have I mentioned how clumsy I am? It takes me a few times to do it and get it where Mike will let me use the bar. Yes, I actually need permission. So I get the bar. Ouch. The point of this is to work up to a two rep max in ten minutes. I grab some plates. Now, when I say plates, I might be exaggerating. I grab some saucers. Mike has me grab two and a half pound plates, with some five pound plates, "just in case the smaller ones aren't heavy enough." Right. Amazingly, they weren't heavy enough. I had to switch to the fives, and that was my max for the day. My power snatch wasn't quite as fast as Mike wanted, but it got done properly.

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Then was the WOD. Today's WOD was three sets of tapered reps, at 21-15-9. The movements were pushups and kettlebell swings. The second part was three sets of tapered reps at 9-15-21. Those movements were air squats with weight and toes to bar. I'll remind you that on Saturday we did knees to elbows. We all remember how that went. As soon as I knew toes to bar was a part of the workout, I knew I was doomed. Mike could tell what I was thinking. So he made me try it. Amazingly, I could do it. It wasn't comfortable or easy, but it was possible.

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I completed this workout in thirteen minutes. I had to use a band to assist with the push ups, a twenty six pound kettle bell, a fifteen pound weight for air squats, and eventually had to go high knees on the "toes to bar". After the workout, Mike has us stretch out our hamstrings. At this point, I realize how much flexibility I've lost. Mike couldn't believe it. He tried to push my leg farther, and it didn't want to go. Ouch Mike.

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In the past twenty four hours you've learned that my abs are mega weak, my arms are mega weak, and I'm completely inflexible. Feel like you're getting to know me? We're just getting started.

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On a lighter note, let me tell you how awkward braces are when working out. Braces are awkward to begin with...but when working out...breathing hard...and making weird workout faces...braces are A W K W A R D. It's hilarious that when I'm sweating and panting that I'm still thinking about how stupid I must look with my mouth all contorted around my braces. Thank goodness there are no mirrors in that place. It's bad enough I have to scare people as a twenty eight year old with braces, much less myself.

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The first day back, Mike's brother asked me if my Dad had to sign the waiver. Touche Thomas...touche.