Happy Birthday Mike!!!

Well, his birthday was Wednesday, and I was working in Sanford, so I did his birthday WOD on Thursday.

Yep, I missed Tuesday and Wednesday in the box. But, like a good girl, I hopped right back on my train once my commute to the Sanford office was over. Thursday morning was open gym, and I was already dreading the WOD. I had read about it Wednesday, and partially hoped that we could do Tuesday's WOD. I was not so lucky. I walked in to see Alex doing clean and jerks. I've never heard him sound like that. I knew I was in for it.

Let me preface by saying that thank goodness Mike's birthday only comes once a year. You're thinking that every one's birthday only comes once a year. I try to celebrate mine as much as possible. So there you go.

Our warm up was to work up to a pull up with as little resistance as possible. Well, this was MY warm up. I'm sure that other's warm ups were working to highest weighted pull up possible. I'm still working on not needing help. Therefore, I was able to do a pull up with the blue band, which is fifty pounds of help. I could do a chin up with the red band, which is thirty pounds of help. I could not, for the life of me, do a pull up with the red band. Stupid red band.

After Mike telling me I failed, I moved on. Yep, he told me I failed. He was right. (reference first blog entry about Mike calling me out on my bullshit)

After the warm up, the workout was this:

3 rounds:

400 meter run

21 kb swings (26#)

12 pull ups (green & red bands)

10 clean jerks (45#)

I completed this in 22.28. Funny, felt longer.

The first run wasn't so bad. The first set of kb swings I finished unbroken. The first set of pull ups weren't so bad. But by this point, I'm so out of breath my lungs feel like they are about to explode. The clean and jerks are actually my favorite part, but I can only do four here, three there. Round two hurt. Every part of it. I kept thinking to myself, "is this the best you can do?". Sometimes I'm a great motivator.

Keep in mind, the whole time I'm doing this, Claire, who is injured, is cleaning more than I am, and swing heavier than I am. She finished in 22.27. Touche Claire!

I kept thinking, once the workout was done, that I could have done more, I could have gone harder, I could have gone faster. I keep wondering. I feel like I'm really pushing myself, really going for it, but then at the end, I always wonder. I want to go heavier, go faster, and sometimes I can't tell if my body is really no capable, or if it's my mind that's holding me back.

I hate to fail. Hell, I'm like most, we hate to fail. But in reality, I've failed in this class quite a bit, and pushing myself more scares me. It's strange to me. To seem that I would rather go a little lighter and do it right, than to go heavier and not be able to finish. I need to find a way to silence that part of me. It's not helping.

But back I went this morning, which I'll detail a little later. Today was better...today I reminded myself, "shut up and do it". Today I tried to silence my biggest critic, but as all of you guys know, I'm a stubborn little bitch.