The title of today's blog implies that I will have lots of philosophical insights. The title lies. A little bit. Okay, maybe it's merely misleading. Lie is a strong word.
Saturday found me in Sanford, helping my mother clean her home and organize for her upcoming vacation. This was a pure delight for me. My family has had a rough year, between the tornado and some other more personal things, my parents wholeheartedly deserve this vacation. They will be traveling to New York for a few days, then leaving from New York on their cruise. I am beyond excited for them. Okay, so maybe 90% excited, and 10% jealous. Alright, maybe 80/20.
Anywho, Saturday was a great day. The only thing missing on Saturday was a workout. I figured I would go to open gym on Sunday instead.
Sunday came, and open gym was not in my lounge schedule. The weather was rainy, and my bed was so comfy. So I took the weekend off. In my defense, this is the first time since I've started that I had more than a one day break. So suck it. Haters.
Yesterday was a lazy day. It was full of a kick ass Friends marathon and laundry. Exciting! Then of course the evening was filled with sleet and snow. At some point last night, the gutter outside my bedroom window maintained this constant tapping. Like water dripping from the roof and hitting the elbow in this gutter. I could not go back to sleep at three this morning because of it. I couldn't not hear it. Even over my sound machine I hear it, drip, drip, DRIP! Ugh. To my couch I go to sleep until six this morning. No big deal, just a crappy nights sleep and then getting up to sub zero temperatures sucks. Fine, enough whining.
I'm the only one in the seven o'clock class this morning. This means I'm in trouble. When Mike has you as the only focus, he will nit pick on everything, like an awesome trainer should. But he is ruthless. This morning consisted of trying to roll out knots in my shoulders. He gave me a lacrosse ball and shoved me up to a bar. This basically turned into him trying to push the ball through the other side of my shoulder. Ouch. But it worked. The reason behind this was merely to help out with my overhead squat.
You see, I can get the bar above my head, but it hurts to keep it there. My shoulders and chest are tight. You can actually see my arms shaking trying to merely hold thirty three pounds above my head. I can press fifty three, but holding thirty three hurts. I need help. I keep forgetting to shrug my shoulders and keep them engaged. Sometimes it's so hard because I'm relying on my arms to do it all. It also hurts my hands, bad. Wrong answer. Therefore, at one point I say to Mike, "I'm just going to shut up and do it." Just shut up and do it.
I'm really weak right now, but Mike reminds me, the last time we did this, I had to stick with the PVC pipe. At least now I'm working up to forty three pounds. There's progress!!! Progress is good. I'm able to do five sets of two reps at forty three pounds, almost had forty eight, but it was ugly, so he left me at forty three to finish strong.
Next is push press. I like push press. This allows me to use my legs to help my arms out. Me like. Push press makes me feel a little stronger than overhead squat. I work up to a set of three at sixty eight pounds. Not bad.
Now comes the workout. I came in at the tail end of the six o'clock class this morning, and I have to say, I'm dreading this. Today's WOD is:
AMRAP 9 minutes
7 overhead squat
14 toes to bar (high knee raises in Brooke world)
21 kb swings
Mike decides to have me squat with just the bar weight, and not squat fully. He has me squat to the bench with this. He also knows I'll most likely be doing high knee raises, and while I was going to grab a twenty six pound kettle bell, Mike says something about, "or you could have some balls and grab the thirty." Touche.
I get through this two full times, and then complete part of the next round with seven overhead squats and eight toes to bar (high knee raises). In my defense, I did do two reps of toes to bar, after that, my body just said eff it.
This workout hurts. And it shouldn't. I feel weak, and defeated. My hands are raw from overhead squats, and holding my body on the pull up bar. The only thing I keep thinking is that this all leads somewhere. It all leads to a better me. A happier me. Starting off my day in the gym is the best and worst thing at the same time. It's the best because I get my workout out of the way first thing in the morning, and it gets me in a good mood. It's the worst because nothing else compares to how accomplished I feel when I leave. I'll take it though.
The one insightful thing I will say, yesterday was a tough day for me. I've been very in my head lately about some things and how they have happened. How I've handled certain situations. I can forgive people, not always easily, but I can. I find it almost impossible to forgive myself. I'll have these moments of "coulda, woulda, shoulda". I have to snap out of that. What I remind myself this morning, and every time I go to the gym, is that in my weakness in my body, I discover new strength in my mind. Just shut up and do it. Make your body work, forget about the rest of the bullshit. Worrying is a useless mulling over things we cannot change. I can't go back and re-do the things I've done. I can't undo the decisions I've made, but what I can do is learn, and make better decisions. Put myself first, and everything else falls into place. And as corny as it sounds, I have to be my own best friend. But sometimes, when I'm beating myself up over things I've done or not done, I have to understand that everyone needs a break. Everyone needs acceptance, and even I deserve that from me.
Saturday found me in Sanford, helping my mother clean her home and organize for her upcoming vacation. This was a pure delight for me. My family has had a rough year, between the tornado and some other more personal things, my parents wholeheartedly deserve this vacation. They will be traveling to New York for a few days, then leaving from New York on their cruise. I am beyond excited for them. Okay, so maybe 90% excited, and 10% jealous. Alright, maybe 80/20.
Anywho, Saturday was a great day. The only thing missing on Saturday was a workout. I figured I would go to open gym on Sunday instead.
Sunday came, and open gym was not in my lounge schedule. The weather was rainy, and my bed was so comfy. So I took the weekend off. In my defense, this is the first time since I've started that I had more than a one day break. So suck it. Haters.
Yesterday was a lazy day. It was full of a kick ass Friends marathon and laundry. Exciting! Then of course the evening was filled with sleet and snow. At some point last night, the gutter outside my bedroom window maintained this constant tapping. Like water dripping from the roof and hitting the elbow in this gutter. I could not go back to sleep at three this morning because of it. I couldn't not hear it. Even over my sound machine I hear it, drip, drip, DRIP! Ugh. To my couch I go to sleep until six this morning. No big deal, just a crappy nights sleep and then getting up to sub zero temperatures sucks. Fine, enough whining.
I'm the only one in the seven o'clock class this morning. This means I'm in trouble. When Mike has you as the only focus, he will nit pick on everything, like an awesome trainer should. But he is ruthless. This morning consisted of trying to roll out knots in my shoulders. He gave me a lacrosse ball and shoved me up to a bar. This basically turned into him trying to push the ball through the other side of my shoulder. Ouch. But it worked. The reason behind this was merely to help out with my overhead squat.
You see, I can get the bar above my head, but it hurts to keep it there. My shoulders and chest are tight. You can actually see my arms shaking trying to merely hold thirty three pounds above my head. I can press fifty three, but holding thirty three hurts. I need help. I keep forgetting to shrug my shoulders and keep them engaged. Sometimes it's so hard because I'm relying on my arms to do it all. It also hurts my hands, bad. Wrong answer. Therefore, at one point I say to Mike, "I'm just going to shut up and do it." Just shut up and do it.
I'm really weak right now, but Mike reminds me, the last time we did this, I had to stick with the PVC pipe. At least now I'm working up to forty three pounds. There's progress!!! Progress is good. I'm able to do five sets of two reps at forty three pounds, almost had forty eight, but it was ugly, so he left me at forty three to finish strong.
Next is push press. I like push press. This allows me to use my legs to help my arms out. Me like. Push press makes me feel a little stronger than overhead squat. I work up to a set of three at sixty eight pounds. Not bad.
Now comes the workout. I came in at the tail end of the six o'clock class this morning, and I have to say, I'm dreading this. Today's WOD is:
AMRAP 9 minutes
7 overhead squat
14 toes to bar (high knee raises in Brooke world)
21 kb swings
Mike decides to have me squat with just the bar weight, and not squat fully. He has me squat to the bench with this. He also knows I'll most likely be doing high knee raises, and while I was going to grab a twenty six pound kettle bell, Mike says something about, "or you could have some balls and grab the thirty." Touche.
I get through this two full times, and then complete part of the next round with seven overhead squats and eight toes to bar (high knee raises). In my defense, I did do two reps of toes to bar, after that, my body just said eff it.
This workout hurts. And it shouldn't. I feel weak, and defeated. My hands are raw from overhead squats, and holding my body on the pull up bar. The only thing I keep thinking is that this all leads somewhere. It all leads to a better me. A happier me. Starting off my day in the gym is the best and worst thing at the same time. It's the best because I get my workout out of the way first thing in the morning, and it gets me in a good mood. It's the worst because nothing else compares to how accomplished I feel when I leave. I'll take it though.
The one insightful thing I will say, yesterday was a tough day for me. I've been very in my head lately about some things and how they have happened. How I've handled certain situations. I can forgive people, not always easily, but I can. I find it almost impossible to forgive myself. I'll have these moments of "coulda, woulda, shoulda". I have to snap out of that. What I remind myself this morning, and every time I go to the gym, is that in my weakness in my body, I discover new strength in my mind. Just shut up and do it. Make your body work, forget about the rest of the bullshit. Worrying is a useless mulling over things we cannot change. I can't go back and re-do the things I've done. I can't undo the decisions I've made, but what I can do is learn, and make better decisions. Put myself first, and everything else falls into place. And as corny as it sounds, I have to be my own best friend. But sometimes, when I'm beating myself up over things I've done or not done, I have to understand that everyone needs a break. Everyone needs acceptance, and even I deserve that from me.
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