my quiet time...

Long awaited Friday. 

For the last few months, Fridays have been set aside for front squats, high bar back squats, and a wod.  I feel as though I struggle with front squats.  I don't feel as though I have the core strength I need to really feel comfortable with front squats.  That's probably a question for Michael Kelley.  I'd ask him if he ever stopped yelling at me.

You see...he may have a reason to yell.  I work hard in the gym.  I feel like I put in the work.  I still don't look how I want.  Why?  It's not for lack of trying in the box, it's my diet.  A few weeks ago I attempted Whole 30.  That was a mistake on my part.  I should have gone in stages to work to it.  I've never done well with strict plans like that.  Michael Kelley says I need mental strength training, or as he likes to call it, MindFit.  He's right.  Food should not defeat me.  How pathetic is that?

Recently I've broken Whole 30.  My downfall?  Chocolate.  Plus I'm weak.  Let's face it, when you can't conquer your diet and you work as hard in the gym as I do...that's what it is.  Weak minded.  Which is funny since I'm so damn stubborn and strong willed about everything else.  Michael Kelley was none too happy.

I've made a goal though, with the advice from the lovely Claire Powell, I've decided to start small.  I'm cutting out grains.  Step one.  Last night I after my text war and getting reprimanded by Michael Kelley, I immediately went to my pantry and cleared out the things I should have cleared out weeks ago.  Pasta...gone.  Pancake mix...gone.  Chocolate...GONE.  Gasp.  That was painful to do.  I even had to walk it down to the dumpster immediately so I wouldn't change my mind.

This blog is called Tales of a Quitter.  Because in all honesty, that's what I have been doing.  I quit on the diet.  But I'll bounce back.  The key to falling off the wagon is to get immediately back up and hop back on.  Don't wait for the next wagon to come pick you up...chase that other mofo down.  I've had a history of letting my disappointment in myself affect my future progress.  I've been self-defeating for so long.  It's time that things change.  So here, on this Friday, I've decided to put me first.  To be hard on myself without being harsh.  To not let my stumbles turn into full blown failure.

With all that being said, and me sharing FAR more than I ever do, I'll lead you into today's programming.

Strength was to work up to a heavy set of three on front squat.  Last week I was able to get 113# once.  My old 1RM is 113#.  Last week I had to bail as I attempted my second rep.  Thankfully Coach Paul used me as an example of the right way to bail.  See, even sometimes when I fail I win! 

So today, the plan was to get 113# for three.  Warm up sets were fine.  I had Jeff and Heather A. across from me on the rack.  It's a motivating sight.  Jeff and I always used to be rack buddies.  I feel so bad for him though that he has to witness the faces I'm sure to make when lifting heavy weights. 

My sets went as follows:

3 x 63#

3 x 83#

3 x 103#

3 x 113#

I got my 113#.  Not too bad considering that was my old 1RM.  Things can only go up from here.

Immediately following, was a set of twenty reps on high  bar back squat.  Last week was 73#.  This week was to be 78#.

20 x 78#...done.  Don't be fooled, it was not fun, or very easy.  But I probably could have done more. 

Our conditioning:

AMRAP 10

10 shoulder to overhead (style of choice) 90% of 5RM press from Tuesday

10 box jumps or bench jump overs

10 kettlebell swings

My 5RM press from Tuesday was 63#.  Ninety percent of that is 56#.  So I ask Michael Kelley (and yes, I have to use his full name), should I do 53# or 58#?  He just looks at me.  I say, "58# then?".   He nods.

I'm setting up for box jumps, and I always use the 24" box.  I like box jumps.  It's one of the things I'm good at.  Michael Kelley comes over and tells me I should try jump overs.  With my best sad face I say, "but I like box jumps, I'm good at them".  He tells me jump overs are more challenging.  Jump overs it is.

When choosing a kettlebell, he walks over and says "35# or 40#".  I grab 40#.  When I set it down, I immediately think, what have I just done?

After hastily wrapping my wrists for me, because he was not happy with me, we get started.

First round of s2o goes ok.  58# isn't so bad yet.  I'm able to do the first set unbroken.  First round of jump overs goes alright as well.  Then...kettlebell swings.  As you all well know, the kettlebell makes me feel like Bambi learning how to walk.  I just feel awkward like I'm going to fall over.  And swinging one-third of my body weight doesn't help.  But kb swings go ok.  Then back to s2o.  But first, I have to tie my shoe.

Second round is a little more difficult.  I try to be smart and do five, then drop, then do five more.  I have this nasty habit of not pacing myself correctly and I burn out...fast.  So five-five and on to jump overs again.  At this point jump overs feel like a break.  I try to make it a game, at least in my head.  Second set of kb swings goes as planned, unbroken.  I'm slightly impressed with myself.

Third set, I don't really remember.  In all seriousness, I can't recall.  Fourth set I know my arms are dying.  I have to break kb swings in fourth set.

Fifth set and this is where Michael Kelley starts his yelling.  I've already tampered with his mood enough today, and now here he comes, like a hornet just waiting to be pissed off so he can sting you.  Fifth round, five s2o, drop, five more s20, drop.  I barely pause on the jump overs, but as I do the ninth one I take a milli-second break, and I hear him scream, "don't stop".  He's right, if I want to finish this round, I can't take breaks.  As soon as the tenth one is done, I pick up the kettlebell.  I hate this kettlebell.  I'm swinging, remaining unbroken, and I hear him counting down.  I get to nine, and I stop, because I SWEAR I hear Michael Kelley is on zero.  Nope, just my brain screwing with me.  I had two seconds left. I wasn't happy.  I said the words out loud, "I just want to lay down".  So I did.

So my total score was 5 + 29.  Yep...one shy of a complete round.

One rep away.  Sheesh.  I'll get that one rep next time.

The title of the blog today is probably deceiving.  My quiet time involves the sound of Michael Kelley yelling, or Coach Paul counting down, or weights hitting the floor, or feet hitting the box.  The highlight of my day, second to crawling in bed, is the box.